more ........ the Shift
........ that could happen for him, and this brought about a strong yearning deep in me for that to happen, not for myself but for him. He then asked me some questions and the effect of the eye contact was very strong. In eye contact with Lorne there had always been some interesting visual effects and changes in the inner state – everyone seemed to experience this, but the inner shift this time was much more marked than usual and continued even as he passed on to interacting with other people. It is of course impossible to convey these experiences in words but the dominant feeling was definitely one of melting, though what exactly it was that was melting was not at all clear!
When this feeling stabilized I found myself in a most peculiar state. Nothing had changed, that is, everything in the room was just as it had been, and yet something had definitely shifted. I found myself looking around at the newness of everything. There was a peaceful spaciousness, and the individual “me” could not be located. The mind was very quiet. Someone passed me a glass of water and I tried to lift it to take a drink. This proved impossible. There seemed to be no substantial difference between my hand and the glass – just as I was unable to move the glass by itself, so I was unable to move the hand. I tried three times and then gave up with a smile. At that point my hand and the glass raised and I took a drink. At the end of the session, I had some difficulty putting on my coat and even negotiating the stairs as I left. In the car with the others, I did not speak a word – simply because no words arose, the mind was perfectly still. For the next few days, there was a feeling of mellowness and all interactions felt very soft and harmonious. I spoke as needed but there was still a deep quiet in the mind. I did not speak about this experience to anyone for some time and then only to my partner and to Lorne and Lucia. There was an intuitive recognition that it needed to be assimilated in some way.
This was not a simple shift where I could think I had achieved something. There was more of a feeling of a beginning rather than ending, of opening rather than closing. The intensity of that experience has passed but the quiet state of awareness, that arose so dramatically then, continues to arise and recede, bringing peacefulness to the mind. Since then major changes have occurred in my external life and yet there has been no suffering, only a sense of them falling away like ripe fruit dropping off a tree, of a clarity
I continue to attend sessions with Lorne and Lucia as I see that this is a journey that has just begun, a constant unfolding. I cannot express in words my gratitude to them.
A. M. Salt Spring Island, BC, Canada