....Somehow Lorne was directing our attention in various ways. My awareness was getting bigger and bigger and more complete but .... still there was the mind or ego involved in this and WANTING MORE. No matter how expanded I was still within that limitation.
At one point Lorne was talking with another participant. He was talking about his expanding awareness and I think at one moment this person actually awoke because he started laughing. Something happened during that moment of laughter and everything was switched around. I was no longer the mind wanting more but something else which didn’t need anything.
By the time Lorne started talking with me, parts of me were already trying to adjust to this shift. I can slightly remember that his words didn’t make a lot of sense because they referred to specific ‘you’s and ‘me’s and because to answer them I had to use ‘my’ mind. It was rather funny.
Right now my experience could best be described as a flow. (somewhat like an endless wave) The flow, in general, SEEMS to be in the direction of absolute/unbounded towards outer material. The absolute/consciousness is somehow more ‘dense’ than the material, which doesn’t really make any sense because the material contains both.
When I put my attention, for example, on my body, there is a wave of compassion for that body. I have a sense that as long as that is flowing – ‘my’ body will be OK. I’m not clear enough to see where that arises and ‘who’ is experiencing the compassion but it is just there. When I put my attention on other aspects of the relative that same kind of process occurs to some degree, but it is perhaps more of an enlivenment.
I also experience my mind (and perhaps ego) within that flow. Sometimes they are going ‘with the flow’ as it were, but sometimes they head in side or opposite directions to the flow. (Like a fish) This is where problems start. If the waves caused by this side venture become too big my entire attention can be swallowed up in this ‘thrashing” or ‘churning”. I have learned to ‘let go’ of that disruption to some degree, but there is still a long way to go.
R.F. Edmonton, Canada