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my voice spoke out loud "Oh my God, Oh my God' with open mouth and wide eyes in absolute awe/reverence/stunned wonder... no words can possibly explain the realization of that moment, suffice to say there was a room.......In the jaw dropping, immobilizing, transfixed stillness and disappearance beyond into Nothing!


It was as if 'I' was now beyond anything, there was an appearance of the room and people but the 'I' was 'Source' and it was beyond Everything. In this place there was something so exquisite - joy, bliss and deep, deep abiding peace. The next short while, I was enraptured and could not find a voice. I just sat watching the appearance of the room and people in radiant bliss.


The experience was of falling into Nothing, of emptiness, of wholeness, of being before thought, beyond consciousness The previous shift was to 'I am Everything'.  As 'Everything' I searched for Self but found nothing. Curiously I sat with no finding of Self.  I asked "Where am I? I found Nothing. itSelf, beyond awareness. This place was bliss, simple, silent, pure.  Nothing existed but there was still the appearance of the world. I was felt as a vibration of Nothing and Everything. Source. God. Love. Nothingness.


Words really cannot describe something that is beyond words and so unbelievably exquisite.


There was a knowing that I was prior to existence, pure, divine simplicity. I was beyond the illusion of Life as it had been. I was Life. The nothing that I now was, was animating the It was as if I fell off the stage set of Life and realized that what 'I' is, creates and contains all of what appears as Life. mind-body in the world and was creating the world of appearance.


Since then the realization is clear and unwavering. It was as if the plug that lit up and gave energy to the illusion was pulled out and now, once seen, there is no way back to the maya. Here, there is wholeness, a sense of a journey complete but in each moment just starting.


Daily life is quite ordinary in the most exquisite and extraordinary way!  Each moment I move towards what motivates and inspires. Each moment is a surprise.  To be a little less abstract - the mind still thinks and the body-mind experiences emotion and holds memory of the life of the person in certain preferences. There is pleasure in the most simple things, a transparency and ease to everything. There is no desire for any experience as everything is here right now.  There is much spontaneous joy and laughter and also some raw emotional release which is sometimes accompanied with a narrative.  I tend to prefer quiet and one to one connection over groups.  There is comfort in the unknown and no need to know or plan anything.  


Ultimately there is absolute freedom, God knowing, peaceful simplicity and Joy.


C.B. Salt Spring Island, BC Canada


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