......that it was not there but was now everywhere. It felt different from the expanded unboundedness I had been experiencing since the first shift.

As we started to walk back I looked down and saw myself wearing all my partner's clothes and I started to laugh. I said "look at me. I am you. Oh... my I AM you!!"  In that moment I knew that I was him and he was me and as I looked around me, I was everything!!

 

Intense laughter followed... laughter and tears which he was fully infected by, it lasted for what seemed like a long time, perhaps 30 mins. Then tears and intense emotion started to move through me as a sense of confusion arose. Where was I?  What had happened?  There was a sense of total confusion as the way I was experiencing the world had suddenly changed dramatically. I felt as if I had exploded completely and my body had dissolved. The sense that I had was everything was seeing itself everywhere and there no more me!  I later spoke with Lucia and Lorne who through gentle questions guided me into allowing of the shift that was occurring.....



......I am noticing much aliveness and Self is awake and alive. Truth is also speaking richly and the connection of Self and Truth brings a brightening, a realness and stillness.  There is a sense that everything sees itSelf and experiences ifSelf through everything. While my eyes see the world, the same I also see or experience through everything, i am everything, the consciousness of Self is expanded and everywhere. the witness is everything and no longer 'watching' but experiencing through the same consciousness that is Self unbounded.

 

The mind is still disarmed although sometimes thinking more but does not find stories in the way it used to.  I spend as much time as I am able just being with the Being and in total presence, in nature or resting.



In the last days I have also noticed a deepening of Love flowing, being love and allowing the opening into what is. There is quiet peace with all that is unfolding even though everything feels very different. Sometimes mind wants to bring sadness for what is lost (?!) but Self knows that nothing is lost and the love and silence and peace is so alive the mind has no ground or support so lets go. Sometimes I almost 'try' to be my old self just as she was and it does not work, truth prevails and reveals beauty and joy so beyond the experience of the individual.

 

 

I am the movement -- all of it, the ebb, the flow, the light, the dark, the oneness, the movement moving, the stillness alive with silent awareness, vibrantly breathing it all into being, the wholeness whole.  I am so grateful for the beautiful unfolding of this process, so beautiful... intense at moments yes but so so beautiful!  Resting in the unknown and love so infinite...

Grateful beyond words to you both.



I just am.  There is a sense of wonder in every moment alongside whatever else arises. Everyday is different.  The mind goes into varying amounts of thinking which can at times be experienced as contraction or turbulence.  But what I am never changes, the truth and any contraction are simultaneously there, the real and the unreal! There is a stabilising as I notice acceptance of more and less reaction and less fear. In any discomfort that arises there is a knowing that whatever is arising is not who I am.

 

Moment to moment I am quite neutral as presence and awareness, a constant aliveness that is everywhere and everything, that has reverence for Self and sees itself through itSelf with awe and deep surrender bowing into deeper humble surrender. The identification with the mind and personality feels like something which is there to be cared for but it is not dominant.  There is no search, no struggle, no drama, just simple being with what is.  

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C. B.   Salt Spring Island, BC, Canada

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